Ralphio Sabreware is the shop owner of Ralphio's House of Swords who makes his first appearance in the Mighty Magiswords short, Pool Fools. As shown in the series' opening sequence, the Warriors for Hire are his frequent customers often purchasing the magiswords. He also supplies them with maps to new magiswords. He also has a pet slimeball named Wobbles, who usually appears on the top of his head. He is voiced by series head writer Doug Lawrence.
Ralphio is best described as a greedy, slimy and unscrupulous business man, whose very goal is to ensure he bleeds his customer's wallets dry before they leave his shop. Though he considers the Warriors for Hire friends, he is not above conning them out of their money, for instance raising the price of a Magisword even as it's being bought. He's also not above stealing to get what he wants, even literally stealing candy from babies or trying to steal and sell other people's property. Despite his money-grubbing ways, Ralphio is admittingly a very lonely man, up until he gained a pet Slime named Wobbles, who helps him run the shop.
In his first appearance, Pool Fools, he is shown in the swimming pool and tells the Warriors about the swimming pool in the Dinosaur Kingdom. He is later seen at the end of the short trying to flirt with King Rexxtopher, who is in disguise as a female human in order to get in the Rhyboflavin pool.
In his second appearance, Identity Theft, he explains to the Warriors that he already sold some specific swords to them, even though he sold them to Nohyas. He also tried to con them into buying them again, but they left with haste.
In Can I Keep Him?, he meets Wobbles for the first time and wants to keep him as a pet, even willing to trade a Magisword to Prohyas for him. Towards the end, Prohyas gives Wobbles to him and he witnesses the slime's multiplying ability for the first time when he shouts "Hey".
In Bookish, he helps Noville find the right Magisword for him. He eventually sells him the Swish Navy Magisword.
In Phil's in the House, he helps the Warriors with their pickpocket prediciment by selling them the Wad of Gum Magisword.
In the short, Do You Know the Muffin King?, he made a slight cameo in a short second after Prohyas revealed of his clearance sale of lame magiswords, in which Ralphio said that the Warriors were his only clientele.
In the episode "The Mystery of Loch Mess", he charges Prohyas extra for the Bacon Magisword.
He appears in Flirty Phantom stealing a lollipop from a baby, stating that he would've slept for 100 years if it wasn't for him. The baby gullibly agreed and went back to sleep while Ralphio walks away enjoying his prize. The Warriors also reveal that he sold them a fake map.
In the episode "Dungeons and Dayjobs", he was shown hiding behind a closet at Slugburger in which he now sells swords via cart. He gives Prohyas the Paper Bag Magisword in exchange for Vambre's un-used Slugburger uniform pants using the tag "Suspiciously low prices" as an excuse. He later sells Mr. Spoony 6 Magiswords, who paid with legitimate currency, implying he planned for Prohyas to unintentionally popularize his stand.
In the episode "Little Sword of Horrors", he tries to get Prohyas to buy some Magiswords but due to his lack of money, gave him the seed of the Carniverous Plant Magisword and told him that it would grow overnight.
In the episode "Champion of Breakfasts", noticing the Warriors' huge stacks of gems, opens his shop and secretly whispers "You complete me". He tries his best to sell them some Magiswords but none of them piqued their interest, even so much as to offend Vambre with the Trouser Magisword. Luckily, Wobbles brings out a chest with the Pancake and Waffle Magiswords interesting the Warriors to buy it from Ralphio. Ralphio becomes proud of Wobbles for his salesmanship.
In the episode "Share and Share Dislike", he tries to get the Warriors to buy his pickle chips, but they were interested in his new Shooting Star Magisword. However, he raised the price to 1000 gems. Originally, they refused and left but they desperately wanted the sword and used all the gems they have for it. Towards the end of the episode, they return to the store to buy another one, only to see that Ralphio removed all the swords from his pantry in order to force the Warriors into buying his pickle chips.
He also appeared as one of the players for the Warriors team in the episode "Grup Jam". He used Wobbles' multiplication technique as a way to get a point in the game.
- He has a Ye Olde British accent.
- He wears a Magisword-shaped helmet, never being seen without it even while swimming.
- Ralphio's shop is often covered in cobwebs, and is stated to be in the more hidden-away sections of Mount Ma'll. This, along with the population of Ryboflavin's general ignorance of Magiswords, lends strong credence to the possibility the Warriors for Hire are his only customers.
- Despite this, he is shown to occasionally have other customers, such as Noville buying the Swish Army Magiswords from him, though with Prohyas' guidance.